Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
