the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
