I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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