I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
