WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
