I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
