He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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