Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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