i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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