I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
