You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
