I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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