How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
