my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
