How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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