HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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