all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Randomize
