I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
