i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
