What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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