O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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