Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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