a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
