took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
