he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
