Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
