R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
