ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
