it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
