Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
