I want to stick my p in your. b.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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