Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
