Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize