Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
