u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
