Plan B is the new Plan A
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
whose ass print is on the piano?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
