new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
