No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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