I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
