better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
