Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
