She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
You're like the curious george of whores
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
