i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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