My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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