I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
