Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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