All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
