For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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