On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
