I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
